The Forest
by coexist love
Summary: What if Lily had been shot during her standoff with George in 'The Woods?
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Forest

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: All hail Jerry Bruckheimer for he makes all good Cop TV!

Summary: What if George had shot Lily during their confrontation in 'The Woods.'

Pairing: Lily/Scotty

Warning: Spoilers for the Woods

Chapter 1

He crept up the stairs quietly. His pulse quickening with every step. He raced through his thoughts at light speed refusing to let on stick before the next one came flying through.

Did he really think what he had said to Scotty? That George was going to kill Lily anyway? His paternal instincts kicked in as he heard the sound of sobs coming from that attic. If he was humiliating her like he had those other woman he wasn't sure how he was going to face it. The sobs were finally followed by the words, "my mother."

"Son of a bitch" he muttered, so quietly that not even the insects could hear him. How dear he go there. Bring up those feelings, that 49 report. How dare he prey on her most vulnerable emotions. How dare he play this mind game with her!

He continued up the steps as he met Lily's voice. Filled with accusations and rage. The kind of voice that belittled a person until they were so small that they're broken. It had always been on of Lily's tricks. Break them down just enough before providing them with the details. Too bad it hadn't worked on George back in October. Or he wouldn't be on this staircase today.

As he reached the door he heard silence and hoped that the two opponents had reverted to calm chat. However the lull lasted for no more than twenty seconds as a gunshot rang through the air.

Anger surged through him as he kicked down the door. Please let her be okay, he hoped as he raised his gun. He mounted a firm stance as he stood in the doorway. His eyes trained on George before he allowed himself to turn his head in time to see Lily fall to the floor.

The sound her body made appeared to echo but was overshadowed by another gunshot as George put a bullet through his own head. As CSU ran into the room he quickly tended to Lily's body.

As he placed a hand on the crown of her head, stroking her blonde hair, he felt his eyes begin to well up with tears as he saw the blank stare that her face gave off. "Hang on Lil," he coaxed. He reached down to her wrist and felt a weak pulse. Just as George had promised he had put a bullet in her head.

Carefully, he removed her gun from her grasp, knowing that she wouldn't need it at the hospital. As he pulled the metal out of her hands he saw her eyelids blink. "Lily?" he asked hopefully.

"Still-man," he voice was barely a whisper and had a childish quality to it.

"We're going to get you a doctor Lil," he said. "Don't try to talk, just hang on! Oh god please hang on!"

He could see where the bullet had entered. Blood was careening down the side of her forehead like a skier on a steep hill. The wound was just above her left eye, there was no blood coming from anywhere else, to his knowledge, the bullet hadn't exited. She was going to need a craniotomy.

Dammit why hadn't she stayed at the station? If she had then he wouldn't be here trying to keep her calm as the stretcher made its way up the stairs. Why does she have to be so fucking stubborn."

"Get-ting dar-ker," she said. Her words broken phonetically. It was like she was a little child trying to read.

"It's okay Lily, you can sleep now," he said. "The ambulance is on its way up the stairs." He tried to smile as he eyes closed for what could be the very last time. But he tried not to think about it. The stretcher came through the attic door and immediately that paramedics placed her on the stretcher. They strapped her in and attached an oxygen mask for her and took her pulse. They'd take good care of her. He knew they would.

Immediately, the paramedics left taking Lily and the stretcher with them.

TBC

Like it? Hate it? Let me know?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you for all of your positive reviews.

Chapter 2

He'd heard the two gunshots from inside the house and his pulse was quickening as he saw the paramedics go in. _Please god! Let her be alright, _he prayed with the deepest conviction. He wanted her to be alive. He cared for her with every fiber of his being.

"Oh my god!" he cried as the stretcher came out of the house. He ran towards it. His heart suddenly felt weighted but his feet felt lighter than they had been in ages. "Lily!" he screamed as he saw the wound on her forehead."

"It's okay Scotty," Stillman said as he followed the stretcher.

"What do you mean it's okay?" Scotty cried hysterically. Lily is lying on a stretcher unconscious and being fed oxygen. How is that okay?"

"We have to get her to the hospital," Stillman said. "She'll be fine."

"What the hell happened?" Scotty screamed.

"Scotty…"

"What happened?" he screamed again, his voice rising in aggression. "For the love of god what the hell happened?"

"George shot Lily right before I came in. I'm not sure what happened with the bullet, but Lily might need a craniotomy."

"Where the hell is George?" Scotty asked as he face turned red.

"Scotty…calm down."

"Where is that son of a bitch?" He attempted to charge past his boss only to be held back. "Let me go! He has to pay for this!"

"Scotty…that's not going to reverse what's happened to Lily," Stillman pointed out.

"I know that!"

"Scotty…he's already dead."

"What?"

"He blew his head off," Stillman said. "I'm sorry Scotty."

"I can't believe this," Scotty said. "Why didn't you intervene sooner?"

"I wish I had," Stillman said. "Believe me when I say that I wish I had."

The argument stops as they heard the doors to the ambulance slam shut. "What hospital are you taking her to?" Scotty called.

"Einstein Medical Center," the paramedic said.

Scotty nodded before turning to Stillman, "I'm going to follow the ambulance." He voice was calm now but Stillman could tell he was trying to suppress his anger in hopes that Lily would live.

He was praying for the same thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 3

Scotty drove to the hospital in silence. He saw the red lights of Stillman's car in the rearview mirror and the red and blue lights of the ambulance up ahead. The notion calmed him for a moment before his hands began to tremble violently and tears welded up in his eyes. Oh god Lilly. How could this have happened?

He was foolish. Why did he hid his relationship with Christina from her? Why! He wished the he was on the gurney instead of her. Lilly had a lot to live for; everybody loved her. He didn't all he did was sleep around with barmaids. Look where that had gotten him.

At that moment he wished he possessed Supeman's X-ray vision. He wanted so badly to see through the ambulance doors. To know that she was okay, that the paramedics were taking care of her.

What were the odds that she would be okay? That she would ever be the same again? _Stop thinking that way. She'll be okay._ But the thoughts continued invading and one by one more tears welled up in his eyes. She wasn't going to be the same again. He could feel it. With that he surrendered and let the beckoning tears fall down his face.

The bitter saltwater touched his mouth and he wiped it away as he thought of the argument he and Lilly had in that lobby a few weeks earlier. "You lied to my face!" she had shouted. The blatant accusation hung in the air like the atomic bomb over Hiroshima. Why didn't he just apologize? Why didn't he just sorry and give her a hug?"

His heart continued racing as the ambulance finally stopped and the paramedics jumped out, taking Lilly with them. Scotty parked in the emergency room parking lot and followed the paramedics in.

He watched as they took her to the trauma room. But it all seemed to move in slow motion. Too slow. He wanted to run up to them and slap them. Tell them to move faster. But as he moved forward he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Scotty…"

It was Stillman, "Captain," he replied, his voice void of emotion. "They just took her into the trauma room."

Stillman motion with his hands for Scotty to follow him and he obeyed. They stood outside the window watching as the doctors worked on Lilly. Lilly's face didn't look calm. She looked like she was having a bad dream. _Damn George. _

She show continued as the doctors placed a tube down Lilly's throat and several intravenious tubes in her hands. This didn't look good.

One of the doctors turned away from Lilly and walked towards the door. He came out and faced Scotty and Stillman. "Are you hear with Detective Rush?"

"Yes," Stillman answered. All that Scotty could do was nod. "Can you tell us anything?"

"Well, to state the obvious, Lilly has a bullet in her brain. It's going to require several hours of surgery to remove it. "Does she have any family in the area?"

"No," Scotty whispered. "We're her family."

"I'll need you to sign a consent form for the surgery," the doctor said. "Is that okay with you?" The two men nodded. Their only female detective needed brain surgery. They couldn't manage an auditory response. "Alright, I'll have the burse bring the forms out to you."

With that the doctor turned to leave. "Can I see her for a minute?" Scotty asked.

"I don't see why not," he said. "Come with me."

Scotty followed the doctor into the trauma room where he was immediately assaulted by the sounds of several different machines. On a gurney lay Lilly. Her face was obscured by the portable ventilator attached to the gurney. Scotty reached out and took her hand in his larger one. He bent down and planted a kiss on her cheek before whispering in her ear.

"You…" he coked for a moment. "You're going to be okay Lil. I know it! Don't give up…keep fighting." He planted another kiss on her cheek before leaning up and using his free hand to push back her blonde bangs. He knew it would be a while before he could do this again. "Do you have a pair of scissors I can borrow?"

Without a word the doctor retrieved a pair of scissors and handed them to Scotty. With a nod Scotty accepted him. Removing his hand from Lilly's grasp he carefully located a lock of he hair and cut it off. He clutched it like a lifeline before handing the scissors back to the doctor.

"We should move," the doctor said.

"Okay thank you," said Scotty as the nurses and orderlies moved the gurney out of the room and towards the elevator at the end of the adjacent hallway.

He left the trauma room and walked back to where Stillman was. The nurse has brought over the forms and he was reading them over, signing where indicated. Scotty joined them.

"Are those the forms," he asked still holding the lock of Lilly's hair.

"You'll need to sign here sir," said the nurse.

With his hand trembling Scotty picked up the pen and signed the form. The nurse flipped the paper over and he initialed where indicated. The nurse turned the paper over again where he signed his last signature.

"Thank you sir," she said with a half-hearted smile. "The OR waiting room is on the third floor in the east wing."

"Thank you," Stillman said.

The nurse left as Very and Jefferies came running through the doors. "Where is she?" Vera asked. When a somber silence greeted him he asked again, "How is she?"

"They just brought her to the OR," Stillman said. "She needs a craniotomy."

"Oh god," said Jefferies as he thought back to the case he had worked with her earlier that year. The one with the African boy that was left in a playground. He remembered her face when he told her that he was the one would found him. Her eyes grew full of compassion and her lips parted like she was about to say something comforting. "Did they say anything else?"

"Nothing we didn't already know," Scotty said as he buried the hand that clutched the lock of hair further into his pocket. How he wished that he could turn back the clock and be standing at the excavation of the nine skulls with deer eyes in their sockets. He wanted to go back to that moment where she had forgiven him and he wanted to hold her close so that she would never leave him again. He ran a thumb over the hair and wished with all his might. But nothing happened, the clock didn't turn back and he was still standing outside the trauma room with his arms empty.

"Should we go upstairs?" asked Vera.

"Yeah," Scotty said as he and his coworkers headed to the elevator

* * *

Like it? Hate it? Let me know! I am going to try to get this up ASAP! I have the next couple of chapter worked out but I have to type them up. 


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 4

The OR waiting room was sterile. The eerie kind of sterile where everything seemed to glow with an immaculate aura. Scotty blinked several times trying to rid himself of the assailing aura. How he wished he could squash the lightning bug that forced the illumination into the room and allow the room to be used what it was really for; a place where families waiting in silence to see if the fates had snipped the thread of their loved one's life.

Illumination had no reason to be in an OR waiting room. It wasn't a place where little children frolicking in the daisy adorned fields with nets to catch butterflies. It was a place where sorrow loomed and the cloak of the Grimm Reaper stood over their shoulder waiting to remind them that Lilly was dying. That she could easily fall into his trap.

Scotty refused to accept it. Lilly wasn't going to die without a fight. She'd go down with blisters and bruises and her endurance tested before she allowed herself to surrender and welcome the darkness that beckoned at her door.

Scotty tried to blink back tears, but unwillingly let one fall. Jefferies noticed and turned to him. "What's on your mind Scotty?"

"I can't lose her," Scotty said. "Not her too."

Jefferies knew what he was referring to, his fiancé Elisa. It's been five months since her body washed up from the river. Scotty was having a hard time dealing with her death so he retreated into the warm and inviting arms of Lilly's sister Christina. "Scotty, there was nothing you could do to save Elisa."

"And there was nothing I could do to save Lilly either." Scotty got up and paced the length of the room. "I want her to be okay. I want her to live. I don't want her to die."

"She's going to be okay," Jefferies said. "Lilly's a fighter. She's going to be okay."

"You can't say that! You don't know that! Nobody knows if she is going to be okay!"

A silence hung in the air. The steps of feet soon came up the stairs as Vera entered the waiting room.

"I come bearing coffee," said Vera handing two cardboard cups to each of his colleagues. Jefferies accepted it and took a sip while Scotty sat down and nursed his cup. "Any news?

"No," Scotty said. "It's been a couple of hours already."

"You could use a good night's sleep," stated Stillman who entered just behind Vera. "Why don't you go home and we'll call you when we hear something."

"No!" Scotty protested. "I'm not leaving her alone!"

"Nothing's going to happen to her," said Stillman. "We'll make sure she's being taken care of."

"I don't care! I want to be here with her. She's dying because of a case we were working on…"

"No she's here because she refused to obey a direct order," said Stillman. "But she's not dying."

Scotty said nothing in return. He just looked down at the floor and took a sip of his coffee.

"If you won't go home. Just take a walk. You need to cool down," said Jefferies.

"No," said Scotty. "I'm sorry. I can't. I'm not leaving her."

* * *

Several hours later, the team sat in the same waiting room resorting to counting tiles and cracks in the ceiling in hopes of driving away the boredom. Occasionally, one would get up and pace back and forth to stretch their legs. It was boarding on six hours. Six hours with no news on Lilly.

Scotty was getting more impatient by the hour. He kept worrying about what was happening in the ER. His mind running through the possibilities. He reached back into his pocket and pulled out the lock of Lilly's hair. He stared at he blonde lock and yearned to run his finger through her hair again. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

The doors to the OR opened as if Scotty had just mutter 'open sesame,' and a doctor stepped out. "Lillian Rush?" he asked.

"Right here," Stillman answered.

"I'm Dr. Ryder, the neurosurgeon that operated on Ms. Rush."

"How is she?" Scotty asked.

"The bullet was in her frontal lobe. It was touch and go for a while but we managed to retrieve it. However the damage done by the bullet has caused her to slip into a coma. We're not sure if its reversible."

"Will she wake up?' Vera asked.

"We can't tell," Dr. Ryder said. "But it's unlikely at this point. We have her in the neuro-ICU. She's attached to several machines including a ventilator, EKG, and a heart monitor."

This was too much. Lilly couldn't exist like this. Not in a coma. Merely existing and not living.

"Can we see her?" Scotty asked.

"For a few minutes. But I must warn you, it doesn't look good."

"We don't care," Jefferies said. "We just want to see her."

They turned and walked down the hall. They entered the ICU and walked through the hallway. The doctor finally stopped in front of one room. He opened the door and looked at the detectives. "Please keep it brief."

The detectives walked into the room to see Lilly Rush lying on her back in the center of a huge bed. Her hair was gone and replaced by a white bandage that was wrapped neatly around her cranium. There were pads with wires attached to four places on her forehead and more wires that crawled under her hospital gown. The ventilator that obscured her mouth was hissing every few seconds, helping her keep a rhythmic breathing pattern. Tubes trailed from IV trees to Lilly's arms where the tubes attached to a needle on the back of each hand. She looked abandoned by time and space.

Scotty was the first to move foreward. He sat on the edge of her bed being careful not to jostle her. With a caring hand he reached out looked for any part of her petite body that wasn't being invaded by wires. He settled for her white shoulder.

She was real. She was alive. She was there in front of him. He could reach out and touch her. That was all he really wanted. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. How he wished she would wake up and kiss him back. He loved her. He'd wanted to say it for sometime now but he always backed out. Maybe that was what attracted him to Christina. Her ability to love and be loved.

Scotty allowed his hand to travel to her arm where he gently rubbed his hand up and down. The friction caused her skin to warm and the hair on her arm to stand. "Come back to us Lil," he said. "We miss you."

His only response was the hissing of the ventilator as it vehemently pumped oxygen into her lungs. He momentarily pondered the option of begging her unconscious form to squeeze his hand and wake up. But decided against it.

Lil, if you're afraid of George don't be," Scotty whispered. "He's dead Lil. He can't hurt you anymore."

* * *

That's all for now! Next chapter I have a glimpse into Lilly's subconscious! Should I continue let me know? 


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: From this point on I'm bringing Lilly's subconscious into the story. That section will be in italics. Just to let you know so that you're not confused.

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 5

_Her feet hurt. She was running through the rough ground of the woods. Her feet slowly becoming blistered and bloody with every step she took. She could feel his breath tagging her. The scent was assaulting her. Raping her of all the dignity she had left._

_She continued running and tripped over a log. "Ahh!" she cried out, her face contorting in pain as she landed on her hands. She tried to get up but stumbled again. Clutching her arm to her chest she began to sob hysterically as she heard his footsteps coming. _

_Almost immediately she regained her senses and forced herself onto her feet. Cradling what she was sure was a broken wrist she kept running. _

_She kept hearing his voice coming from behind her, "I told you a long time ago you I would go hunting together. In the watds." _

_She wanted him to shoot her. Her leg felt like fire was ripping through every nerve ending in her body. It hurt to walk on it. Her wrist was numb and her breathing was rapid. But she kept going._

_As she ran she began to cry. Her tears were in part because of the humiliation of being naked and part because of the pain. She kept running looking over her shoulder every few minutes. She could feel his eyes on her. The cold goggle-adorned eyes he was using to track he with. She was the prey and she knew it._

_Her foot accidentally stepped in water and she gasped. As she continued her frantic sprint she tripped into another large puddle. She lifted her head up, it was now embellished with the dirty brown mud that composed the bottom of the puddle. She began to breakdown. Her body was racked with sobs. She wanted him to come and kill her. To put her out of the misery that she was feeling, but at the same time she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of beating her. She picked herself up and continued running. _

_She ran until she saw the end of the woods and heart the blissful sound of cars going by on a road. She climbed up the hill and started running along the road, where she kept running and running until she couldn't run anymore. She fell onto the pavement and sobbed._

"_Help," she said through her sobs. "Somebody help me!" she wailed._

_Suddenly a pair of headlights appeared from down the street and the driver slammed on the breaks. The driver got out of the car and ran towards her. "Are you okay?" asked the friendly male voice. Lilly shook her head no. "It's alright." He took off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders before picking her up. "I'm going to take you to the hospital."_

"_Thank you," Lilly sobbed into the man's shoulder._

* * *

She'd been like this for a week. Scotty sat by her side, holding her hand for a week. A few times he had gone to the chapel to pray for her and spend the rest of the day silently asking god to help her come back. He wanted her to come back to him. Her wanted to see her at work and ask her if she wanted some coffee. 

He remembered her order clearly. A Starbucks Triple Americano and he could see her face the time Vera had handed her a cup in the squad room. She'd looked at Vera with a smile and said, "Rocket fuel, thanks!" Scotty smiled at the memory as he looked at her face. She appeared to be sleeping, like she was in a dream but wouldn't wake up.

Her chest still rose and fell with the rhythm of the ventilator. IT was the only sign that she was alive. Up…down. Up…down. Up…down. Up…down. Her chest continued in the rhythmic pattern.

Scotty bearly noticed when her neurologist came into the room. "How are you doing Mr. Valens?"

His answer was always the same, "It depends. How's Lilly?"

The doctor began the reflex exam by shining a pen light into Lilly's eyes. "Her pupils are fixed and dilated." He moved a hand over to her arm and pinched the inside of her forearm. Lilly just laid there. "She's not responding to noxious stimuli." The doctor then proceeded to pick up Lilly's chart and began flipping through it. He surveyed the monitor and made several notes before turning back to Scotty. "Her heartbeat and respiration is normal but her brain activity appears to be dropping."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't believe that she's going to get better. I believe that she is falling down a slop into brain death," said the doctor.

"But what does that mean?"

"Do you know if Lilly has a living will?"

Scotty looked at him in disbelief, "No…I can't. I won't!"

"Detective Valens, I'm just suggesting."

"I know what you're suggesting. You want me to euthanasize her! To kill her! I can't! I won't do that to her!

"But if she's brain dead her mind isn't there," the doctor argued.

"No," Scotty said. He could feel the knife in his heart twisting. He couldn't believe that the doctors were suggesting this. They didn't know her. They didn't know her resilience when she was down. They didn't know a damn thing about Lilly Rush! "I can't do this to her."

* * *

That's all for now, let me know what you think. Especially about the subconsious part. 


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 6

Scotty speeded to work. He ran two stop signs, and cut off three cars. He didn't care. He was in a hurry. He had to talk to Stillman.

As he drove he clutched the steering wheel tightly. He couldn't believe what the doctors had just suggested to him. Euthanasia! He couldn't do that to her. It wasn't far to her. She'd only been like that for a week. There was a chance she could recover. Her mind wasn't gone yet. She was still there. He knew it.

He pulled up to the station and got out of his car. He ran into the station house and took the stairs having no patience for the elevator. He climbed up the stairs two at a time in his rush to find Stillman. He needed to find Stillman! As he reached the floor that the cold case squad was located on his speed increased. He continued climbing up the stairs.

When he finally reached the floor he ran through the department, ignoring the voices of everyone who attempted to offer their condolences to his unshaven face. What did they care about Lilly? All they ever did was criticize and ridicule her. What can a female detective do in homicide? They saw her as weak. He tossed their comments aside and found the captain in his office. Without knocking he went inside.

"I need to talk to you!" Scotty demanded.

"Scotty did something happen to Lilly?" he asked. His voice was dripping with concern.

"Yeah!" Scotty shouted. "Her doctor just asked me if she ever spoke to me about end of life decisions. They want to know if she has a living will on file. They want me to euthanasize her."

"It's too soon for this," Stillman said. "There's no evidence that she's not going to pull through yet. We still have time."

"Not according to the doctors!" Scotty said. His was beginning to rise with agression. "They said that her brain activity is dropping. That they don't expect her to wake up."

"They don't know that Scotty."

"I know that!" He screamed before calming down. "But I don't want to debate this now. All I wanted to discuss was if she has a current living will on file."

Stillman sighed and opened up his desk drawer. He removed Lilly's file and opened it up. Inside was what looked like an official legal document. He picked it up and examined it. The words on the page made a frown escape his stoic face. He sighed before handing the file over to Scotty.

"She came to me last year Scotty. After the military case, when the cadet pulled the gun here. I guess it scared her. She asked me to sign the form and I will never forget her saying, 'Please tell me, that if anything happens, and I end up like that kid, that you won't let me live like that.' I was reluctant Scotty it seemed like she knew what she wanted. She didn't want to be a burden to us or to the department or her family members."

"She was scared. You said it yourself," Scotty defended. "She thought the kid was going to shoot us. She couldn't have meant it. She was just scared."

"Scotty, trust me, it seemed like she knew what she wanted."

Scotty sat there in a stunned silence before speaking again, "This isn't the end. She's not giving up I know it. I just know it! She's not a quitter."

"Scotty…"

"Please, can we delay a D.N.R. order for a few more weeks just to see how it turns out? If she's…is she's not improving I will…I will willingly sign a D.N.R. for her life support to be pulled. But please…I just have to see if she's still in there." He choked up. He couldn't believe this. Lilly actually wanted to die.

Scotty was almost in tears and Stillman looked at him sympathetically. "I don't want to pull the plug today, Scotty. We can wait a little while."

"Thank you," Scotty said.

* * *

_Lilly was sitting in the barren hospital waiting room. Her good Samaritan had given her his jacket so that she wouldn't be cold. She hugged it tight around her as she looked around the room once again. The abandoned feeling the she got from the place was strange for an ER waiting room. Wasn't there usually someone there wither it be a drunk who spent too much time at a bar or a homeless person who was stabbed with a knife? It felt strange and eerie to her. She contemplated leaving. Trying to get a cab and go to another hospital but she was sure that George was still out there. She didn't want to risk running into him._

She sighed as a nurse came out of one of the rooms. "Lillian Rush?"

"_Right here," Lilly said. She felt kind of stupid saying it since she was the only one in the waiting room but it was a natural instinct. She got up with the impression that the nurse was going to lead her into an exam room. _

"_This can't be right," the nurse said. _

"_What?" Lilly asked._

"_The information her. It says you were admitted here earlier today for head trauma and that you're in the neuro-ICU."_

"_That can't be right? I was just assaulted by a madman. I have a broken wrist to prove it but no head wound."_

"_Yeah," said the nurse. "This is strange. I'm sure it's just a clerical error. Let me check the computer." The nurse sat down at he admittance desk and typed in the wound listed on the file. It came up with one name. Lillian Rush. "There was only one person admitted with head trauma today. You!"_

"_That can't be right! I'm standing right here!" Lilly was getting frustrated. She just wanted to get her wrist taken care of and give her statement to the police before getting a room at a motel in a neighboring town and sleeping this entire night off. "There must be a mistake with the computer records."_

"_Let's take a walk," the nurse suggested._

"_Look I don't have any I.D. on me, but I'm Lilly Rush! Can you please just put a cast on my wrist or something?"_

"_I will I just want to make sure that you're really who you say you are."_

_Lilly didn't want to fight. George would probably be waiting for her at her house if she went back home and as much as she wanted to get back home and sleep she wanted to be safe even more. "Sure."_

_The nurse began walking and Lilly followed. She kept looking over her shoulder. She was going to carry the scars of the attack for the rest of her life. She knew it. She and the nurse boarded an elevator and rode it up to the neuro-ICU. _

_When the elevator doors the nurse stepped out, Lilly followed her. The nurse referred to the file before stopping in front of a door. "According to the file this is where they placed Lillian Rush after her surgery."_

_Lilly took a moment to reflect on how much she hated her full name. It sounded so formal. Why was the nurse referring to her this way? She shook the notion and opened the door to the room. She took a few step in saw the figure lying on the bed.

* * *

_

Author's Note: Well? What do you guys think. I am going to try very hard to get the next chapter up very soon, but just so that I know you're still out there; please hit the little lilac button and review.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: kawaii-peach14 you need not die in anticipation because I have this chapter and the next worked out they just need to be typed.

Title: The Forest  
Chapter: 7

_Looking at the form on the bed she recognized the face. It was like looking in the mirror except her hair was gone and her head bandaged. What the hell was going on? This had to be some sort of sick joke._

"_This isn't me!" Lilly said in denial. "This isn't me! She looks like me but it isn't me!"_

"_It says here that she has a mark on her wrist form an attack as a child," said the nurse. "I noticed you have the same mark."_

"_That doesn't mean anything. Many people have childhood scars."_

"_Ones that were induced by an attack?"_

_Lilly took a deep breath. All she wanted to be examined and hightail it out of here. But it appeared that that wasn't going to happen. "Look I don't know what kind of game this woman is playing but I am Lilly Rush! Now can I please just get my wrist taken care of so that I can go home?" Lilly came to the sudden realization that her wrist wasn't throbbing anymore. "What the hell happened to my wrist?"_

"_I'm sorry Lillian," said the nurse. "But we've found it best to ease people into this transition."_

"_Ease?" Lilly questioned with disbelief. The use of her full name was driving her insane. "Ease me into what?"_

"_You don't remember what happened to you Lillian?"_

"_Yes, I was just chased by the maniac George."_

"_Do you know why you're here?"_

_The nurse's demeanor was beginning to anger Lilly. She knew why she was here. She had thought she'd broken her wrist. "I'm here because I thought that I'd broken my wrist and since it's obviously not broken I'm going to go home and get some sleep so that I don't look like complete crap when I go to work in the morning."_

"_Lillian, you have it all wrong," said the nurse. "You're here because you disobeyed your captain's order. He wanted you to stay at the station but you had to go the Marks house to look at a suspicion you had. George was there. He had a stand-off with you and he shot you in the head before you could pull your trigger."_

"_No! This…" she pointed to the figure on the bed. "Isn't me! This is some strange woman that's claiming to be me."_

"_Really? Because she has the same social security number and everything." A moment of silence hung between them. "Like it or not this is the real you. In the conscious world you are in this room, in the hospital"_

"_What…? How...?" Tears sprung to Lilly's eyes and she tried to hold them back. She was always trying to be masculine. She would hold back her tears to the point where she could feel all her tear ducts clog and dry up until they crusted over. "What's my condition?"_

"_After the attack, Stillman rushed you to the hospital. You were given a craniotomy and the bullet was removed from your skull. You've been in deep coma since then."_

_Lilly bit her lower lip to hold back the tears that were coming on. Since she'd heard the word 'coma' a million questions sprung to her mind. She wanted to know if she would recover, what her brain activity was, and if Stilman had brought up the living will. But she didn't have the heart to ask those questions and instead asked a simpler one._

"_What is this place?"_

"_It's where you decide between life and death."

* * *

_

Scotty couldn't go home or to the hospital. He couldn't face her. He couldn't believe what she'd asked him to do. It didn't seem like Lilly to plan for the end. He never would have guessed that she had a living will on file. He couldn't believe the she didn't bring it up when they'd talk. There were so many opportunities where she could have brought it up. He would have assured her that he would be there for her. It would have been hard for him but he would have done it.

But now as he drove around Philly's streets he felt so lost. Somehow he subconsciously drove in the direction of Lilly's house. He wanted to be close to her, but he couldn't be with her. It made no sense but it was better than staring at the swirls in a glass of vodka. That just reminded him of Christina, who reminded him of Lilly. Being in her house wouldn't help much either given that he would be in a place what was a part of Lilly. A key part of her life, the place she would go home and lay her head down after a long day of detective work.

He pulled up to the house and vaguely remembered Lilly mentioning a hide-a-key somewhere on her porch. He looked around and found a flower pot. The flowers were dying now, a week of neglect had gotten to them. He walked over to the flower pot and found a key hiding in the soil. He took it and moved towards the door unlocking it.

He opened the door and stepped inside. Lilly didn't have an alarm system. Probably didn't think she needed one. But Scotty knew better and made a mental note to pay for one that could be installed. He placed the key on a table inside the door and walked into the living room.

Upon walking into the living room he realized that he'd never been her before. As he glanced around her realized that the place embodied Lilly perfectly. The furniture was shabby-chic and looked very comfortable to sit in. He sat on the coach and noticed a white cat had already beat him too it. The cat lifted his head and looked at him.

"Hey," Scotty whispered to the cat. He reached a hand out and petted the cats head. "It's okay, I'm a friend of Lilly's." The cat meowed in response. "I really am." He pulled out his badge as if the cat could read. "See Philadelphia PD." The cat just stared at him as the second cat jumped up.

This cat was different. Orange. It walked over the coach and rubbed its head against the badge as if marking it to say that Scotty had been there before laying down against Scotty's leg. The white cat stood up and meowed before walking over to the kitchen. Scotty could only guess that the cat wanted food.

He got up to follow the cat and in a moment realized how very little he really knew about Lilly Rush. He looked in the fridge hoping to find some cat food. Instead he found quite a few cans of tuna. "I'm guessing Lilly gives you tuna for dinner?"

The cats meowed in response and Scotty took one of the cans from the fridge and rummaged threw Lilly's drawers for a can-opener. Finally finding one he opened the can and placed an equal amount into each food bowl. At first the cats seemed apprehensive to eaten the food given to them by this stranger and Scotty eyed them with concern.

"I don't when Lilly's coming back," he said to them. "So please, eat."

The cats began eating and Lilly watched them. He looked around the kitchen. It was spotless. In fact Scotty would have been surprised if it even got any use. Judging by the contents of her fridge Lilly didn't prepare many of her own meals. He could have guess that by the number of nights she ate at the station with the guys. Fries seemed to be her favorite food. With every dinner she got she would order a side of fires. He could even make a case saying that her love for fries ran as deep as her love for coffee.

But it was a pretty nice kitchen regardless. It had a bar counter where you could sit at a stool and eat your breakfast and a nice table. Again, Scotty predicted that it was rarely used for eating. In fact it seemed like the only reason Lilly came home at night was to sleep. By the time a shift ended it would be nine, ten, sometimes even midnight, and he doubted the first thing on her mind was to make some pasta. Especially when she had a shift in a few hours.

Scotty walked over to the bar and in the process found what looked like a liquor cabinet. He tried to open the door but it was locked. He examined the lock and realized that Lilly must hide the key. He couldn't really blame her with all the perversity and degrading acts that they saw everyday she might not trust herself to drink. Sure she'd go with them to the tavern, but then she was always with the guys and they wouldn't let her get drunk. But to come home and see the liquor cabinet in front of you and have the ability to pour yourself glass after glass of vodka may have been to much for her to handle. He wouldn't be able to take it if he was her.

He got off of the counter and proceeded upstairs. He knew it was rude. That he shouldn't be up there without Lilly, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to be close to her. To sleep with her scent on the sheets. He wanted to be near her.

He walked down the hall and found Lilly's room. It was pretty. Decorated in a soft green color. Her queen-sized bed had been made neatly and Scotty couldn't help but think of the last time that she had slept in it. How she's woken up that morning and thought that she would be back that night. Making the bed the way she usually does and dressing the way she usually does. Funny how life could change in one moment.

* * *

Author's Note: that's it for now! Let me know what you think! And please I don't want to lose reviewers so please don't die of anticipation. Though I will continue to update on a regular basis. 


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The Forest  
Chapter: 8

_Tears sprang to Lilly's eyes as she let the news sink in. She was stuck in a limbo; some kind of ghostly plane. She couldn't believe this. She couldn't believe that she'd ended up like this. She'd given Stillman a copy of her living will. Why hadn't he put it into action yet? Why hadn't they made this decision for her? That's what a living will is drawn up for. _

"_What happens now?" Lilly asked as she began to cry. "Where do I go from here?"_

"_I want to show you something," the nurse said as she turned to leave the room. Lilly followed, not sure where the nurse was taking her. As they walked down the hospital hallway all the walls fell away and soon Lilly realized that she was standing in the tavern._

_She knew the décor. It was a bar. How festive did she want it to be? At one of the tables she noticed Stillman sitting there alone. "What's he doing here?" asked Lilly. _

"_Move closer," the nurse said. _

_She moved closer to Stillman and could here him order a scotch on the rocks. Stillman's drink of choice. It was what he ordered every time they were out with the guys after work. The bartender came back with the scotch and Stillman thanked him. _

_He sat there staring at the glass before raising it up. "Here's to Lillian Rush! The most dedicated cold case detective I have ever met. May god guide her back to us soon." _

"_Lieutenant?" she asked. Tears welled up in her eyes. _

_She reached to put her hand on his shoulder but the scenery changed again and she soon found herself in the back of one of the squad cars with Vera and Jefferies. _

"_Now where am I?" Lilly asked the nurse._

"_That should be obvious."_

"_Can they hear me?" _

"_No," the nurse said. _

"_I was thinking of bringing some flowers to Rush's hospital room," said Vera. "Make the place a little nicer for when she wakes up?"_

"_That's a good idea," said Jefferies. "Has Valens said anything?"_

"_No but Stillman said he'd came to see him today. He mentioned that Lilly had a living will," Vera said. "He's pretty crushed."_

"_Scotty!" Lilly exclaimed. "Scotty! Where…? Where's Scotty? I need to see him!"_

"_Lillian…" the nurse began._

"_No! Cut the crap! Just tell me where his is!"_

"_Lillian…"_

_Lilly couldn't take this anymore. None of her questions about Scotty had been answered since she'd gotten there. She reached for the handle on the car and pushed it open. She stepped out and closed the door behind her. She wanted to find Scotty. She had to see him. She began walking home. Knowing that he wouldn't be at the station this late and he wasn't at the tavern. _

"_Lillian! Lillian! Wait!" the nurse said. "Where do you think you're going?"_

"_Home! I'm going to go to bed and this will all just be a stupid dreamt that I will wake up from in the morning!"_

"_Lillian, listen to me!" the nurse said._

"_No! No!" Lilly said as she continued walking. "I've had it! My questions are never answered and there's a huge void of information that you aren't giving me. Who are you anyway? You're obviously not a nurse? Are you the angel of death? Some figment of my imagination? If so, I must have a pretty lousy one!"_

"_Lillian…let me explain!"_

"_No!" Lilly said. "I'm going home!"

* * *

__Lilly walked up to the door of her house and went to look for her hide-a-key. She knew it was in the dead flower pot. It was always in the dead flower pot. Where did a little tin canister blend in better than a dead flower pot? She bent down to check the flower pot but the hide-a key wasn't there. _

_She moved to her door and tried the handle. It was unlocked. Panic seized her as she pushed the door open. She closed the door behind her and calmly walked up the stairs. George had taken her gun from her so she hoped the intruder wasn't dangerous. She moved up the stairs; yearning to fall asleep in her own bed. _

"_Meow," Olivia said. Lilly jumped and looked back to see that her cat was staring at her._

"_You can see me?" she asked Olivia. _

"_Mew," the cat replied as it rubbed its cheek against Lilly's leg._

"_Olivia?" Lilly asked as she bent down and rubbed the cat's head. "Is there someone in the house?"_

"_Meow!" the cat said as she trotted off towards Lilly's room. Lilly followed the cat into her room. She peered inside to see a lump sleeping on her bed. She moved towards the lump to see that it was Scotty, but he wasn't asleep, he was crying and praying. "Please god! Please! I can't lose her! Please! Let her come home! Let her come back to me! Please!"_

_Lilly moved over to the bed and climbed in with Scotty. "It's okay Scotty! I'll find a way back!" She pulled herself closer to him and stretched her arm around his shoulder. "I love you!" she whispered in his ear before kissing his neck. "I'll come back. Don't worry. You can't get rid of me that easily."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks to strwbrryCSI for opening me up to this possibility. I had a feeling that this story was missing something but I didn't know what. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I thank my loyal reviewers for supporting me. I will update again soon. So that nobody dies of anticipation.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 9

Scotty awoke up Lilly's alarm. It was just like her to have an alarm that went off an hour before she was expected at work. But, it surprised him somewhat too. Lilly's beauty tourine seemed to be pretty simple. Her vanity mirror was home to a small community of make-up and her hair was always in a clip, he was suprised that she thought that she would need an hour. Maybe she stopped for coffee in the morning, or maybe she just wanted a few peaceful moments to herself before joining the bustle of the real world. In this moment he realized how little he really knew about his partner. Of course he knew how she took her coffee and that she liked order, but had she ever had the chicken pox? The measles? Was she vaccinated for anthrax back in 2001? He didn't know.

Scotty pulled himself out of the bed and made it. If Lilly woke up and came home he didn't want her to worry about an unmade bed. In a small way, making the bed made it appear as if she hadn't left. That she would return and and come home to nestle in her room the exact way she had left it. He felt that by keeping things the same, she wouldn't feel displaced.

He picked his jacket up from the foot of the bed and pulled it on. Then sitting down he pulled on his shoes. He'd had the strangest dream last night. It was like Lilly had been in the room with him. Like she had her arm wrapped around him the entire night with her arm, like she was immersing him in her light. But she wasn't dead. He had to remind himself of that. Lilly wasn't dead. She was just sleeping. And she was holding on. He could feel it. He could have sworn that he'd heard her say, "I love you." He'd wanted to reply but he didn't want to seem crazy. Someone had once told him that it was normal to hear voices but the minute that you started having conversations with him, you were crazy.

Scotty stood up and walked downstairs to Lilly's living room where he picked up the remote from the end table and turned the TV on It was set to the news. Very Lilly. Scotty watched the anchor deliver some story about the liberty bell before handing it over the other anchor.

"More on Philidelphia P.D. Detective Lilly Rush's condition," said the anchor as the department photo of Lilly came up on the screen. "Lilly Rush has been in a comotose state for the past week after being shot in a the head by a serial killer. Detective Rush's condition remains critical, but a living will has surfaced. We'll bring you more on this story as it develops."

Scotty turned the channel, why was the media, prodding into Lilly's story? The next channel was another new station, "The Philedelphia detective shot down last week, remains in critical condition..." Scotty switched the channel again. "Detective Lilly Rush of the Philedelphia homicide unit..." He changed it again, "Lilly Rush, detective in the Philedelphia homicide unit..." Scotty hit two numbers finding an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. He didn't need to hear this. He just didn't.

Olivia jumped on the couch and began meowing at the arm. "What's wrong?" Scotty asked as Olivia meowed again. "Is it time for breakfast?"

Scotty moved into the kitchen and poured cat food into the dish. Olivia and the white cat rushed to the bowl and began to eat. Scotty watched the cats eat before returning to the living room. "I'll see you girls later," Scotty called back and he turned off the TV and left the house.

"He locked the door behing him, taking the key with him. He was coming back. He knew that he couldn't leave Lilly's cats alone. It was an excuse for him to come back. To be close to her.

* * *

_Lilly sat on the couch, knees pulled to her chest, her face burried in her forearms. She sobed as Olivia rubbed her head against the sole of her foot. She couldn't believe that this was real. As the news reports had said, she was in critical condition. She was dying._

_She'd always hated the stores about cops who'd fallen in the line of duty. They always showed the department ID photos. Another thing that Lilly always hated. Hers was awful. She looked tired, like she had just rolled out of bed and her butterfly clip was in her hair. She had a slight smile on her face. The stories in general where disrespecting of the families. Not that Lilly would care. She didn't have any family to worry about._

_Suddenly, Lilly felt a presence behing her and a voice followed. "Lillian? Now do you believe me?"_

_"I can't," Lilly sobbed as the nurse came to the side of the couch. "I can't leave Scotty! I can't leave Scotty! I love him too much! I can't!"_

_"I can't accept your decision Lillian," said the nurse. "Go and change and we'll go to the station house."_

_"Why do I have to go there? You just said I had to decide."_

_"I was going to explain Lillian," said the nurse. "But you ran off so fast that I didn't have a chance to explain."_

_"Did...did you know that...that Scotty was here? That...that he was crying...that he said...he couldn't let me go. That he loves me?"_

_"Yes...we wanted you to be prepared."_

_Lilly sobbed. "I can't! I can't! I'm not going to leave."_

* * *

Scotty arrived at the hospital sometime later that morning. He couldn't leave Lilly alone. He just couldn't. The hospital was sterile, so impersonal, that he couldn't stand the thought of her being alone. She was so vulnerable. It's not the time for her to be left alone.

"Hey Lil," he said entering the room. The ventilator was still on and was hissing at him in response. He sat down on the edge of her bed and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I fed your cats yesterday. They miss you. You should hear them meow for you in the middle of the night. They want you to come home Please come home soon Lilly. Please." He picked up her hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed it and then held it to his face he let his tears fall. "Lilly I can't help but think about your forty-nine." Scotty said.

He remembered her face when George had mentioned it back in October. She had tried to keep the wall up, but in her eyes he could see the tears of a little girl. she looked so helpless in that moment. Like she was about to breakdown and cry. "I'm wondering if that's why you don't want to come back. Because of George and and what he knows about it? Remember Lilly, George is dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

He stopped and looked at her in silence for a moment. "Your lips look chapped..." he siad pulling the ice chips from the tray table. "Here..." he used a spoon and carefully placed the ice chips on her lips. He watched as themelted with the warmth of her skin. "There you go. Isn't that better?"

* * *

Sorry that I haven't updated. Hopefully my reviewers haven't died in anticipation. I will be able to update sooner now that I have my own computer and can at my leisure instead of having to conform to a scheduele and having to be off at a certain time. Anyway, what do you guys think? Good? Bad? 


	10. Chapter 10

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 10

It had been three weeks since Lilly had gone into a coma and the doctors were giving her another day before performing the apnea test and a braindeath examination on her. Scotty didn't agree with the decision. He'd seen the monitors, Lilly's brain activity had leveled off. She wasn't dying anymore, she was suspended in a coma. But, with the end approaching Scotty had decided to go back to work. He wanted to pick up a copy of Lilly's forty-nine report. He had to know what happened to her. He wanted to assure her that it would be okay, that he wouldn't judge her for it.

He'd thoroughly over the past few weeks and decided that he'd wanted to see the forty-nine. Even if he didn't read it, he wanted to know that it existed. That she really had one. That she was really suffering. He'd understood Lilly's contempt towards deadbeat dads. Knowing that her father had walked out. But what he couldn't understand was her contempt towards negligent parents. He remembered that one case they'd investigated, the death of this girl Toya. Her mom had been in a coma for several yeras and they were getting the opprutunity to question her. Lilly had argued with him about the mother. He could recall her saying, "...mom makes some exuse why there is no dinner tonight and, oh yeah, no breakfast either. So thank god for the free cornflakes at school if you get there early and maybe some kid will give you some scraps out of his lunchbox." When Scitty said, "So times where hard with your mom" she'd replied. "Scotty there was never a good time."

Did her mother have something to do with the forty-nine? Why Lily was so introverted about her feelings? If that was the case then why hadn't she told him? He was her friend wasn't he?

Entering the records office he presented his ID to the clerk. He felt strange...George had once sat there. This is where he'd read about Lilly's forty-nine. Where he found out what her colleges wanted to know. He knew the very mystery of Lilly rush.

"Dr. Valens," Scotty began. "I need the forty-nine on Lillian Rush."

"Lillian Rush? As in the officer that was shot last month?" the record keeper said.

"Yeah, that'd be her."

"It's tragic. I met her once. She seemed nice, really genuine, but her eyes always seemed distant, like she was carried around a dark secret. Have her doctors said anything?"

"There's been no change," Scotty said. He was lying but he didn't care, he just wanted the damn forty-nine.

"Oh...I'll pray for her," the record keep said as he typed Lilly's name intot he computer. The screen returned with an abundance of information. "I'm sorry, it's been checked out."

"What? By who?"

"Detective Stillman."

* * *

Lilly arrived at the police station later that morning. She'd showered and dressed in her sweats. The nurse was there at the station and ushered her into one of the interview rooms. Lilly had to admit that she was feeling better, but she was still anxious when she was asked to step into the doors of her interview room.

"Please," the nurse said. "There's not much time."

Lilly entered the room without a word and took a seat. Soon two figures came in. Figures that looked exactly like her. She stared wide-eyed at her two imposters for a couple moments and then asked in amazement, "Who are you?"

"We're you," one of the figures said. "Well at least part of your psyche. I'm your ego."

"And I'm your superego," the other figure said. "And at this time you've been in your coma for a month."

"A month?" asked Lilly. "How is that possible? I've only been her for one day."

"Time passes differently here," said ego. "We'll need to proceed to make a case in time."

"Time for what?"

"Let's just say there's a deadline," superego explained. "We have until tommorrow before the doctors perform an apnea test. We're here to help you decide wether or not to live or die. Call it informed consent."

Lilly was speechless. Two figures looked exactly like her, clothing and all. We're telling her that she had to make a decision by a certain point. She felt even more uneasy than when she'd walked in. In fact she felt like she was going to vomit.

"Shall we begin?" said ego.

* * *

Scotty rushed to Stillman's office. What the hell was Stillman doing with Lilly's forty-nine report? It wasn't revelent information for him to know. Hell he had probably know the forty-nine had existed before he did But he needed the forty-nine. He needed to know what'd happened.

"Stillman?" Scotty siad as he walked into the office.

"What can I do for you Scotty," Stillman said in a very kind way.

"I just got back from the achives. They told me that you had Lilly's forty-nine report?"

"Yeah, it's right here," said Stillman holding up the file. "I haven't read it. I was going to but I haven't had the courage to open it. I had the feeling you would come looking for it."

"I need to know," Scotty said, tears brimming in his eyes. He felt anguish, knowing the file was in front of him. Knowing that the mystery of her was in his grasp. "Please, can I have it?"

"Scotty, it's not for you to read. It's for Lilly to tell you about when she feels comfortable. It's too personal for anyone to read..."

Their conversation was interupted by a knock on the door. A yound female detective. A brunette dressed in the same conservative way that Lilly did, was standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry. Detective Stillman?"

"Com ein," Stillman said urging the woman in. "You must be Josie Sutton. Detective Sutton meet Scotty Valens."

"Hi," Josie said holding out her hand for a handshake.

Scotty looked at the hand suspiciously before extending his own. "Nice to meet you."

"Detective Sutton will be taking Detective Rush's place for the duration of her recovery." He then turned to Sutton. "I suggest you go talk with Vera and Jefferies. They can get you up to speed."

Sutton nodded, "Thank you, sir." She exited the office.

"You found her a replacement," said Scotty. "I thought that you had hope for her recovery."

"I do," Stillman said. "But I had no choice...the commissioner was on my back. We needed another body on the CCS."

"Don't play this game," Scotty said. "If you've lost all hope and decied with the doctors, just tell me. Don't blame it on the commissionor. A month ago you had every hope that she would wake up and smile at us like nothing happened. Now you're hiring her a replacement?"

"I'm telling you the truth Scotty," Stillman said. A pause hung between them. "Scotty, it's obvious it's too soon for you to come back. Go home and get some rest. And by home...I mean your home. Not Lilly's."

Scotty didn't answer. "Can I see the forty-nine?" he asked. "Please."

Stillman handed over the forty-nine and Scotty accepted it. He held the file in his hand for a moment before stepping out the door. "Thanks."

* * *

"It's obvious that you know about your condition," Ego said to Lilly. "Comatose for almost a month. That's not good."

"I know," Lilly said. "I was shot in the head. When I wake up I'll probably have brain damage."

"But consider what you're going back to," super-ego said. "I mean; you're at odds with your sister, you don't have a relationship with your mom, and you don't have a serious relationship outside of work."

"I have my cats."

"But they can't return the same affection that humans can," ego said. "A cat can't hold you, or keep you warm at night.

Lilly ran a hand through her hair. She didn't know what to say: how did she answer a question like that. The fact that it came out of her own mouth was also suprising. "Scotty loves me," said Lilly. "I've seen him, crying over me. He wants me back."

"Are you going back for him?" ego asked.

"You do remember that the man dated your sister.

* * *

Scotty went back to his apartment just as Stillman had said. But it wasn't where he wanted to be. He wanted to be back at the hospital with Lilly. He wanted to be at her side incase anything happened. He wanted to console her. Urge her to keep fighting. To tell her that it was okay to come back.

Scotty didn't have the energy to go to his room. He pulled off his shoes and went to the kitchen. He took out a beer and opened it up before returning back to the living room. He turned on the TV and thought of Lilly. The program on didn't concern him at all. He wanted to call the ICU, ask how Lilly was doing. He wanted to go to the hospital and hold her hand. Hold her close to him.

Tommorrow was a stange day to have the apnea test. The papers said that George's burial was to take place tommorrow. The same day they would decide on Lilly's braindeath. He sighed painfully. He didn't want her to die. He knew that she was still there. He knew that she hadn't left him. She wouldn't leave him.

With that Scotty stretched out onto the couch.

* * *

Author's note: Well, what do you think. I promise, Lilly's condition will be resolved soon. Please reveiw. 


	11. Chapter 11

Title: The Forest

Chapter: 11

Scotty awoke sometime later in the evening. His phone was ringing and he wasn't usually a deep sleeper anyway. Fumbling for a moment he answered it.

"Hello," he said.

"Scotty, its Nick," Vera's voice said. "I'm at the hospital."

Scotty's heart caught in his throat. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"You're going to want to get down here right away," Vera said.

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes," said Scotty as he hung up the phone.

_Please god! Please god, don't let her die! Please!_ He prayed silently. He hoped to god that Lilly wasn't dying and if she was he prayed to god that it didn't happen before he had the chance to say goodbye.

He shoved his shoes on and headed out the door.

* * *

"What happened?" Scotty asked as he came speeding into the hospital. Stillman and Vera were standing outside the ICU, there faces void of emotion. "What happened? Where is she?"

"Scotty," Stillman began.

"Please god! Just tell me what happened?"

A pause hung in the air between the three men.

"She woke up," Stillman said.

"What?" Scotty asked in amazement. "She's awake?"

"She started responding to stimuli about a half hour ago," Stillman said. "That's when they called us."

"I have to see her," Scotty insisted.

"Valens, wait," Vera said.

"What? I've been waiting for this for a month!" Scotty said. "Excuse me."

He pushed past his colleagues and into Lilly's room. The doctors had removed he ventilator and replaced it with a simple nasal catheter. Her heart monitor was still there but for some reason the sound seemed like distant background noise. She looked so peaceful now, her hair wasn't the same length it had been when she was shot but it had grown back in an unflattering bob around her face. He could imagine that she would be happy to cut it back into her usual messy, low maintenance style once it grew out long enough. Reaching out a hand he touched her sleeping form.

In response to his touch, her eyelids fluttered open slowly. "Hey Lil," Scotty said as he waited for her eyes to focus. The doctors had dimmed the lights so that she wouldn't wake up to a bright flash. Her eyes focused on him but had a look to them like she was forgetting something. Like she was trying to place who he was. "Lil?" he asked. Her face scaring him. The look in her eyes didn't change.

"Doctor?" Scotty questioned to the man in the white coat that was reviewing Lilly's chart. "Why is she looking at me like this?"

"She might have amnesia. It's common with head injuries, but we can't say for certain because she can't move or speak," the doctor.

"What?" Scotty asked in disbelief. He looked back to Lilly's conscious form on the bed. "Can she hear us?"

"She can," said the doctor. "She was blinking in response to some voices about twenty minutes ago. But she can't communicate anything beyond that."

"Can I stay with her for a little bit?" Scotty asked.

"The neurologist will be up in a little while to take her for a head CT, you can stay with her until then," said the doctor.

"Thank you," Scotty said as he turned back to Lilly. Bittersweet tears sprang to his eyes. "Oh my god Lilly!" He bent down and kissed her on her lightly on her forehead. "Don't do that to me again. I thought that I lost you." Lilly continued to look at him perplexed. "Listen Lilly. Blink once if you can understand what I'm saying."

Scotty waited for a minute and watched her eyes carefully. It took a moment but she blinked. "We're going to have to come up with a form of communication. When I ask you a question blink once for yes and twice for no. Does that sound okay to you?"

Lilly blinked again. "Okay," Scotty said. "Everything will be fine. We aren't going to let you go through this alone. You'll be fine."

TBC


End file.
